


let's play a game

by SarkaS



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Don’t copy to another site, I have officially given up and let the story be what it wants to be, M/M, Peapod McHanzo Week, Team Bonding, Team as Family, craziness, just don't take this seriously okay guys?, maybe even crack, this is so far from serious it never even heard about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 06:21:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17319617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarkaS/pseuds/SarkaS
Summary: Day 4 prompt: Game nightI couldn't decide on what could be something the team could play together, like what would suit all of them, and it wrecked my brain a little. So I went with it. If I cannot come up with something, how difficult it can be for them to pick a game?So that's it, that's the recipe: a bunch of agents, mandatory game night, add a pair of junkers, and a pinch of horny McCree - stir vigorously. Bon appetit!





	let's play a game

The tension around the table was palpable. Silence reigned as they all stared at each other with different levels of desperation.

“This is ridiculous,” Soldier huffed out, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back into the chair. 

“I am not playing darts against Hanzo again!” Genji exclaimed adamantly, holding the aforementioned darts out of everyone’s reach. 

“Well, what about poker?” Soldier tried but McCree snorted. 

“Winston counts cards.” 

The gorilla scientist’s shoulders slumped. “Not on purpose. I don’t know how not to.”

Lena patted his shoulder in a consoling gesture. “It’s okay, big guy. No one is blaming you,” she tutted and glared at McCree, who raised his hands in defense. 

“Not blaming him, just sayin’.”

“Well, what about Monopol-”

“No!” Fareeha interrupted Angella before she could finish, glancing sideways to her mother who paused in raising her cup of tea to her lips, a maniacal glint in the one remaining eye. “Not- not that. Just no.”

There was a grunt of agreement from Soldier. 

“Then what about Mario Cart?” Hana tried but Hanzo scoffed. 

“You know McCree is no good at video games. It stresses him out and then he smokes. We do not want a repeat of last time.”

McCree raised his hands in exasperation. “I said I was sorry! Who set the sprinklers to be so sensitive anyways?!”

The unimpressed glares made him cross his arms with a petulant frown. 

“Uno?” Mei peeped out. 

“Winston,” was the answer from several agents at once. 

“Let us leave out the cards completely,” Zenyatta suggested mildly as Lena’s consoling petting intensified. 

Hana put her forehead on the table. “This is the worst!” 

“I think we should play bowling!” Reinhardt exclaimed from the next to the Soldier who flinched at the volume. Everyone turned to him. 

“How?” Lucio asked, confused. 

“Sorry to break it to ya but we don’t have a bowling alley.” McCree drawled, already done with sulking, balancing his chair on the two back legs instead. 

“Yeah, and you threw the Wii controller through the wall during that last tennis match,” Hana added in a sour tone. Reinhardt deflated. “Oh.”

McCree raised his hand as an idea struck him.

“We are not playing Never have I ever, Jesse,” Angela stopped him before he even managed to open his mouth. The plain disappointment in that scruffy face told everyone she was right on the money.  

“Yer no fun.”

Hanzo rolled is eyes and Genji snickered. “You just want to get plastered.”

“‘S wrong with that? We’ve been sitting here for a better part of an hour and haven’t come up with a single game everyone can play. Not exactly fun game night if ya ask me.”

“We are not canceling the game night,” Soldier growled, putting his hands on the table; ever so set on team bonding activities. 

“Not suggesting we-” 

Sudden rumble followed shortly by a trickle of dust falling from the ceiling, and a bang as McCree’s chair tipped back and he crashed to the floor made everyone stop; Hanzo the only one even attempting to help McCree back up.

“The hell was that?”

“...where is Jamison?” Mei asked slowly, her hand pausing in stress-petting Snowball. 

The mad scramble as everyone tried to be the first out of the door was not as unusual as one would think since the two junkers joined them. 

“Those better not be my babies!” Torbjorn yelled as another boom reached their ears, now mixed with a screech of metal. 

They got to the exit just as a wild voice called: “Fire in the hole!” Making everyone backpedal at once, covering behind the wall as another much louder explosion rocked the Watchpoint. 

“I’m going to kill him,” Soldier growled, pushing out the moment the dust settled.

Zarya whistled when they got to the now wide open space where an outcrop of rocks and a small shed used to be. The junkers were both there, Junkrat hoping from foot to foot in excitement while Roadhog was throwing some debris out of the way. 

“What have you done?” Angela asked in horror. 

Jamison turned to her, beaming. “Made us lil som’n!” 

“Wasn’t there a shed before?” Satya asked, taking in the newly created space. “Over there, I believe.” She pointed to the far right. 

A distressed sound came from behind Torbjorn where Brigitta was standing, pale as a ghost.

“‘S gone now,” Jamison grinned, clearly self-satisfied.

“I can’t remember what was in it,” Winston said, mentally inventorying before giving into any panic. 

“Just some junk. Blew it up,” the scrawny junker waved his hand dismissively. Brigitta whimpered.

“All my spare parts? Gone?”

“‘S that what it was?” 

McCree leaned close to Hanzo. “Just so we are clear. We could’ve been having sex right now.”

Hanzo shot him a look but he wasn’t fooling anyone. McCree could tell the archer regretted the decision to join in for the game night. But Genji was so insistent! 

“Let’s make a run for it.” McCree wheedled. 

“Jesse!” Hanzo hissed at him but the cowboy only grinned at him. 

“C’mon, darlin’, I’ll blow you in the shower.”

That did make Hanzo hesitate. The offer sounded imminently more pleasurable than anything that could happen here. 

“Eww! Stop it, McCree, I can hear you!” Genji whined from behind them, making Hanzo stiffen and McCree chuckle. 

“Sorry about that, Genji, but no can do. Yer brother’s dick is just too damn tempting.”

“By the gods!” Genji threw his hands up, immediately attracting all the attention to the three of them; Genji cursing, McCree laughing, and Hanzo covering his reddening face in his hands.

There was a moment before Soldier wisely said “I refuse to ask,” and turned back to Junkrat. “Why would you-” he paused, looking for some words that could adequately describe what was happening, then gave up. “Why?” 

“Cricket!” 

“What?” Lucio asked, as perplexed as most of the others. 

“There wasn’t anywhere to play. So we made space! ‘S game night, right?” 

This time the silence was much longer. And the subsequent choir of groans much louder. 

“Jamison, we do not have equipment for cricket.” Angela imparted the devastating truth to the man, whose face turned from glee to horror in an exceptionally overdone way. 

“But- How can ya not have it?” He turned to the other junker pleadingly. “Roadie?”

The big man patted his back in a consoling gesture, Junkrat swayed under the force of it a bit. 

“A blowjob and I’ll ride you like a bronco after. Final offer,” McCree murmured, making Genji squeak in indignation. 

Hanzo was proud of his strong will and his determination to never be swayed by bribes or coercion. But even Shimada heirs had their limits. He grabbed McCree’s hand, turning on his heels he dragged the cowboy back inside, ignoring Soldier’s yelling following them in mixed with Genji’s pleading to just let them go for the love of all that is holy. 

 

A few hours later when the cowboy was laying half across Hanzo’s chest, still breathing hard but already on his way to blissful unconscious, Hanzo knew he would never again choose game night over a night in. 

He didn’t know how to play cricket anyway. 


End file.
